captainlordauditor:

captainlordauditor:

captainlordauditor:

captainlordauditor:

captainlordauditor:

one of those aus where the justice league doesn’t know about batman’s kids BUT ALSO when they finally meet dick, he tells them all random facts about his family that sound EXTREMELY fake, even to a woman made from clay, 2 aliens, a guy who got struck by lightning, and a space cop but are 100% true

Barry: what else is Batman hiding from us

Dick: he eats his burgers with a fork

Barry: oh my god.

Dick: one time I saw him cut up a grilled cheese sandwich with a knife and fork and delicately dip it into his tomato soup.

Dick: his shampoo smells like lavender because he can’t stand ‘manly’ scents. He has a whole 20 minute rant about it.

Clark: this is starting to get a bit intrusi-

Diana: go on:

Dick: I have 5 siblings.

everyone else: you have HOW MANY

Dick’s facts will rocket wildly between “Bats owns fuzzy slippers he goes over case files in” and then the next one will be “my brother died once and now he’s a canonized saint even though half our family is jewish” “what?” “yeah, he came back five years later with a motorcycle and a crime habit. also every tie bats owns is striped and his favorite food is oatmeal”

Hal, upon finally meeting Jason: is it true you have 30 extra rules to dreidel in order to keep the peace

Jason: absolutely not, who told you that? Was it Dick? He hasn’t been home in ages. We’re up to 43.

calladraws101:

Jasons second grave

helluva-daddy:

the True sibling dynamic

Bonus:

h-l-w:

And that’s how we almost didn’t join the Justice League because Alfred wasn’t home!

allthebooksandcrannies:

hannibals-favourite-meal:

Business

Jason: I like your new pants!
Y/N: Thanks, they were 50% off!
Jason: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*
Y/N: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.
Jason: That’s… not what I meant.
Y/N: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Jason.

Damian: Please take me home

unofficial-jaytodd-wife:

Y/n: Yeah I’m really into true crime podcasts lately.

Jason, trying to flirt: You know I’ve been the primary suspect in quite a few murder cases.

yourmomxx:

Bruce, doing a crossword: I need a 4-letter-word for disappointment

Jason, no hesitation: Dick.

*silence*

Bruce: *heavy inhale* It fits

Dick: *looks in the camera like he’s on The Office*